


Bad Apple

by anamnesisapproaches



Category: Mario - Fandom, Super Paper Mario - Fandom
Genre: AHAHAHAHAHAHAH, BE FREE YOU LITTLE JESTER MAN BE FREE, Burning, CAUSE YOUR LITTLE CHAOS ONCE MORE, Dehydration, Don't Judge Me, Food, Help, I only titled it Bad Apple for the sole reason that I was listening to it on loop while writing, Malnourishment, Miso Soup, OOC, Prison Cell, because I can’t write Dim, contest entry (sort of), im sorry, shush I wrote it in 30 minutes, underwhere, yes I know it’s bad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-23
Updated: 2019-08-23
Packaged: 2020-10-01 18:15:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20362711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anamnesisapproaches/pseuds/anamnesisapproaches
Summary: Dimentio ponders life in hell and cries a little.He also gets a nice bowl of miso.





	Bad Apple

**Author's Note:**

> “If I’m crying in the wind
> 
> If I’m crying in the night
> 
> Will there ever be a way
> 
> Will my heart return to white?”

Purr, did the Underwhere, the constant humming of bubbling fluids driving those who were locked away insane. 

Growl, did the Jester, who had lost his mind prior, only going even more crazy with each moment of the irritating noise. 

Shriek, did the earth that laid underneath him as he ran a sharp stone across its surface. 

Cry, did the traitor, as he felt a horrid despair wash over his hopeless smile. 

“Why...” he whispered, in a calming tone that could soothe gods. “Why must I be cursed to one of the few things that truly drives me up the wall, like a cat chasing a laser pointer...” the man chuckled pathetically at his own Simile. 

“Though, it is odd...” he cooed to himself, the other cells empty of life, and ridden with bones. “It is odd that I am unable to... Ah, I do not know...” he lost his train of thought, being dehydrated and malnourished. He gave up trying to recover his lost words, and rolled pathetically on the ground. The more intelligent the person, the more difficult to entertain. He was deprived of mental stimulation, and it was scaring him how freakishly bored he was. 

His voice echoed warmly in the area, almost mimicking the presence of another person. 

“I wish I could read Mimi’s diary. That was so much fun.” Dimentio breathed out a sigh, staring directly at the ceiling, letting water drip onto his parched tongue.

The jester yearned for freedom. He yearned for life. 

“Please, I wish for some way out... I wish it so hard, please...”

But, no matter how hard he cried...

“I feel disgust in even desiring help from another, but please!”

Nobody came to help. 

So he lay there, helpless and weak, chains magically wrapped around his neck, wrists, and ankles. The jester blankly allowed his gaze to wander down, eventually landing upon a guard which was standing guard. They were a D-Man, and were staring wide-eyed at the man in the cell. 

At that moment, an idea formed in his head. 

“Hmmm... Good sir, please, come closer... I want to have a chat with you!” His sweet tongue hadn’t been used in ages, but now was the time to make use of it. He may have lost his knack in the many years he had been locked away, but the man knew he would get the hang of it within no time at all. Spooked in a way, the little guard scuffled towards the jester, and swallowed audibly as they stood half a meter away from his cage. 

“Uh... Whaddya want?”

“I would just like to ask how long I’ve been in here?” Dimentio simpered pathetically, playing himself up to be a hurt animal, almost. It took almost immediate affect, the guard’s eyes softening. “It’s awfully dirty, and I’d like someone to come in and clean it up. I can’t be properly punished with repetitive noises if I’m wallowing in filth.”

“Oh, uh...” the guard fumbled, trying to check the papers that he was given, which told him everything there is to know about Dimentio. “You’ve been in here since... Oh. You’ve been here for a good long five years, really. Man, that kinda sucks, inn’it?” They looked at Dimentio’s facade of a crestfallen face, feeling a deep form of empathy within themselves. 

“Ah, it has been so long, hasn’t it... Oh, I was never even given a proper meal before my demise...” Dimentio’s voice was thick with despair, some of it even being real. 

“Well... I... That’s not really good... Almost everyone gets a final meal...” they looked down at the ground and made a little frown. 

“I never even got to taste the sweet flavor of my favorite dish ever again.... Instead, I was given the bitter taste of a painful death with no food... I hadn’t eaten for days by the time I had died...” that, for once, was a full truth. He hasn’t gotten to eat before his demise, and even starved himself in the final days coming up to that day. He hadn’t the time for food, so he went without it. The D-Man hummed woefully, before coming to a sudden solution. 

“Oh! How about this—“ they began. “I can get you whatever you want! Just say it and I’ll get it for you!” And I’ll come in and clean up your cell, too. It would suck to have your first last meal be in such a dirty place.” They chirped sweetly, giving the insane jester a gentle smile.

“Miso soup. With Tofu, chopped up into little cubes. And ginger. Lots of it.” His voice was gentle, it’s sound almost petting the guard. They nodded, and turned around to retrieve the food. They had fallen into an age-old trap that was sitting right there in the cell. 

After a few hours. Or days. Maybe a week, but it doesn’t matter, after enough time passed, the guard sprinted back over to the cell with the soup in hand. 

“Here you are, sir! I also got you a spoon, specially designed for soup.” They places the bowl at the edge of the cage. There was an issue, however, as it seemed the chains were too heavy for Dimentio to move.

“It appears that... I am so malnourished... That I cannot move with these chains, dear friend...” he began to address the D-Man as a friend to further gain trust. They bought it instantly. How could such an emotional voice be lying, after all. 

“I suppose I could take them off of you. Just this once, so you can eat.”

“Really?” Dimentio added in a bit of a heaving breath to emphasize his weakness. He wasn’t entirely lying, as he was malnourished, but he simply played up the symptoms to drive his point into their willing heart. “You are such a sweet man, dear~” and with a pet name to boot, they absolutely believed him. 

How foolish. 

“Here, lemme just get in...” they unlocked his cell door and walked in, tenderly undoing the shackles, one by one, first going for the one around his neck, then his feet, and his arms. Dimentio pushes himself up, the D-Man helping to support him as they led the jester towards the front of the cage, allowing him to reach for the soup and begin to eat. 

He was quick to devour it, sipping up everything he could from the bowl. He almost got carried away, nearly eating all the soup, before he paused, and slowly turned to the D-Man. 

“You are such a kind man, and a sweet one as well.” He talked soothingly, a proud smile infecting the guard’s face. “It’s a shame I must leave you, now.”

“Wait what—“

And without further hesitation, Dimentio splashed the remaining soup right at his captor’s face, causing them to hiss in pain and hobble back. The ginger stung their eyes, and the scorching hot liquid burned their face and mouth. The jester bellowed with laughter, kicking against the ground to take to the air, quickly zooming out of his prison. 

“Half a decade was all it took... how pathetic.” Dimentio mused, snapping his fingers as he flipped to remain under cover. It wasn’t long before alarms were blaring, and everyone was desperate to find the man who had already cheated Jaydes once before. 

Dimentio watched from the other side as countless other D-Men sought after him. If they simply could have a less flat imagination, they would have spotted him. But, instead, the insane jester sung happily as he slowly worked his way up to the surface, being reborn once more. 

The black hue of his soot-ridden clothing was soon to be bleached out in the light of the sun, and his heart would return to the world, in attempt to prosper once again. 

“Ciao, Jaydes... I’m here to stay...”

**Author's Note:**

> “If I opened up my eyes 
> 
> There’d be no more going back
> 
> Cause I’d throw it all away
> 
> And it all would fade to black.”


End file.
